Haaaaaa Some English/Singlish Jokes About Wad Ppl Say

When Going Shopping
- English: I'm sorry Sir but we do not seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
- Singlish: No Stock!

When Returning a Call
- English: Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page me a few moments ago?
- Singlish: Hello, who page?

When Someone is in the Way
- English: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
- Singlish: Lai, siam! Or Siam hor! Or Skius! (Excuse)

When Someone Offers To Pay
- English: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
- Singlish: No need lah!

When Asking for Permission
- English: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
- Singlish: (While pointing at the door) Can pass or not?

When Asking to be Excused
- English: If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
- Singlish: Go toilet! Buay tahan ahh...

When Doubting Someone
- English: I don't recall you giving me the money.
- Singlish: Got meh?

When Disagreeing on a Topic of Discussion
- English: Err... Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you are coming from but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
- Singlish: Talk cock lah u!

When Asking Someone to Lower His/Her Voice
- English: Excuse me, but could you lower your voice, I am trying to concentrate over here.
- Singlish: Eh, Diam leh!

When Asking Someone if He/She knows you
- English: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
- Singlish: See what see?! Buay Song ah?!